Mom Emails Me While I Am On Vacation.

Sent From: momsums@generic-email.com
2/23/05 (2 days ago)
Hey
Your Income tax check came in the mail today can I go and buy some beer with it?
I love you
mom

Mom (Seems To) Like Pornography.

Mom: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, LET ME GET MY GLASSES. IS IT REALLY PORNOGRAPHY?!
Me: No mom, it's not.
Mom: LET ME GET MY GLASSES. ARE THERE PUBES?
Me: It's just John Cusack.
Mom: DAMMIT. IF THAT WAS PORNOGRAPHY, I WOULD BE ALL OVER THAT.

Mom Thinks I Am Pretty.

Mom: YOU HAVE TEETH LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN. BUT YOURS ARE MUCH BETTER. YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL, LIKE IN A NATALIE PORTMAN WAY. BUT YOU ARE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL. ESPECIALLY YOUR TEETH.

Mom Likes To Make Food That Is Not Real.

Mom: HEY GUYS, I MADE CHICKAMUNGAS.*

*Chimichangas.