Mom Attempts To Watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Mom: YOU KNOW, I WOULD WANT TO LIVE IN A SEA OF PIZZA. THAT'S LIKE, FREE PIZZA ANYTIME YOU WANT IT. AND FREE PIZZA, THAT'S LIKE, FREE PIZZA.*

*A request from a year ago.

Mom Confuses Black Sabbath With Public Enemy.

Mom: I HEAR BLACK PEOPLE IN THE BACKGROUND. Are you listening to Flavor Flav?

Mom Leads An Exciting Life.

Mom: ALL I'VE BEEN DOING REALLY IS SITTING AROUND. ALTHOUGH I HAVE BEEN HITTING THE CAT WITH A MAGAZINE A LOT. IT MAKES HER SHUT THE HELL UP. THEN I READ THE MAGAZINE ON THE TOLIET.

Mom Explains Life After Moving Out To Me.

Mom: YOU CANNOT GO HOME FOR ANY HOLIDAY BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY WILL BE FUCKED UP. THIS IS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONES WHO FUCKED YOU UP IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THUS HAVE BECOME REALLY FUCKED UP SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE. I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY AND I SUGGEST YOU DO TOO.